How to get change in a can.
So much has been written about change lately, mainly because of the recent necessity for us all to change our work habits and our life behaviours as a result of COVID 19. I now never leave my house without a mask. I have them in my pockets, my handbags, the glove compartment, and door of my car. Today as I ploughed through a series of appointments to the doctors for a pre surgery Covid test, the garage for a new windscreen wiper that had torn when it got iced onto the back windscreen and a quick visit to the pharmacy, getting out the mask, disinfecting my hands upon arrival was a reflex. I know the simple procedures I can do to protect myself and others. Easy peasy.
But what about changing behaviours in other aspects of life? Why is that people don’t manage to change some behaviours that are clearly unhelpful.
Many years ago, while completing a master’s in applied linguistics, I was introduced to the concept of generative grammar and the deep structure of meaning, and the idea that at a deep level our brains interpret reality from declarative, positive sentences. At the risk of being terribly simplistic, the deep structure of ‘The sun isn’t shining’ is ‘The sun is shining’; negation is applied at a higher level depending on the specific negative morphemes and grammatical idiosyncrasies of each language. So why is this important?
How many parents have said to a child, ‘Don’t drop your ice cream!’? Or ‘Don’t trip over the sidewalk!’ Only for said child to immediately drop the ice cream or trip? When you want to suggest to someone that they change a behaviour, exploit the brain’s deep structure and give them clear positive instruction. ‘Keep hold of your ice cream’. ‘Step up onto the sidewalk.’
I remember an hilarious experience we had in an office many years ago where we were organizing a significant event that needed the presence of a senior leader. The colleague responsible for the invitee lists was advised numerous times not to forget to invite the manager. Now this was a colleague who was renowned for her attention to detail and her reliability, so it became quite an office joke when she over several days despite being reminded on numerous occasions not to forget, forgot to invite the manager. Finally, I stuck a big piece of paper on her desk which read ‘Remember to invite Steve.’ And she did.
On another more serious occasion, I was working with some public health specialists who were concerned with the increasing number of ‘sticks’, accidents with needles, of nurses working with HIV/AIDS patients. They explained to me that they had posters all over the rooms which clearly said, ‘Don’t recap needles.’ So, what were they doing? They were recapping needles before putting them into the toxic materials containers, increasing their chance of getting stuck. They recreated the posters to say. ‘Stop. Place uncapped needles immediately into the bin!’ They began to get the message, and the number of accidents reduced.
The bottom line is, good change instructions are in ‘cans’. Tell people what they can do, not what they shouldn’t do. I recently worked with a manager who had a new team leader. Like many new supervisors she was overcompensating and over managing her team. The manager’s advice to her was, ‘Don’t micromanage. Don’t smother them. Don’t answer all their questions immediately.’ If you read the deep structure advice it is: Micromanage, smother them, and answer all their questions immediately. It wasn’t helping her behaviour. During a coaching session I asked how he might give her more positive advice and we practiced him saying, ‘Give them time to find their own solutions before suggesting yours’. ‘Have confidence in your team. They are competent and know their jobs.’ ‘Give them some space to do work and then have them brief you afterwards.’ She was now getting some advice that helped her get onto a stronger footing with her first supervision challenge. She had an action that was achievable. She was given advice as to what she could do rather than being told what not to do.
Whether you are giving advice or your intention is to help someone to discover their own solutions, remember to frame your statements in the positive and make it about what they can do rather than focus on behaviour they shouldn’t do. Change is in the ‘cans’!
